Broken Hearts and Regrets
by C. T. Torris
Summary: Will and Jack are in love with each other, but one doesn't know that the other one is in love with him. Rated PG13 for language and some kissing. Please R/R!
1. Will's POV

Will's POV

~~*~~

I am gay.  I've known that for over 17 years, and I've come to accept that.  The think I can't accept is Jack.  I love Jack.  Those are three of the hardest words for me to say.  But, alas, it's true.

It hurts to see him reject me time after time again.  I ache so much for him to hold me - to love me.  But he goes around, oblivious to anything except his face, how he looks, and how many times he can squeeze Karen's tits.

_Oh, Jack!  Why can't you see this?_ I ask him.

"See what?" Grace asked. Damn!  She's sitting right next to me, and I just said that out loud.  "O-o-oh.  You're still in love with Jack," she said quietly.  I say nothing, but I answer her.  "Why don't you just ask him out?"

"Because, he'll say no," I say, pitifully.

"So, because you're afraid of being rejected by the love of your life, you're just going to sit around here like nothing is happening, pining away for him?"

"No.  I-I'm going to _work_ around here like nothing is happening, pining away for him," I said.

"Tell him," she says.

"No, I can't," I said.

"Tell him, or I will."

"What?!?" I exclaimed and asked at the same time.

"Tell him you're in love with him, or I'm going to have to.  I don't like seeing you pining away for him, being hurt every time you see him."

"Bu-bu-but," I sputtered.

"Will, he'll either say yes or no.  It is a risk, but in the end it'll be worth it.  I don't like having to wade through a cloud of insecurity and, um, crap between my best friend and one of my really, really good friend."  
            

"Ok," I said.  "I'll tell him tomorrow," I said as Jack came into my apartment.

"Tell whom what tomorrow?" he asked.

Damn!  I have to tell the truth.  I've never really been able to lie to Jack when it was something as serious as this.  

Bless Gracie, though.  "I, um, have to go feed my cat," she said, trying to make a quiet exit.

"But you don't have a cat," Jack pointed out.

"I, um, just got one," Grace said, making a, um, _Grace_ful exit.

"So, what do you want to tell me?" Jack said, with a smug grin on his face.  I closed my eyes for a moment.  "Will, are you, like, alive, or what?  You've been acting very weird, which, in itself, is very weird."

"Jack, just shut up and let me say what I have to say," I snapped.

"Ok, buddy," he said, defensively.

"Jack, I-I, I-I l-l, well, you see, I-I."

"You what?" he asked.

What the hell!  _Just do it_, I told myself.  "Jack, Iloveyou," I said, rushed.

"You what?" he asked, concerned.

"Dammit, can't you hear what I'm saying?  I'm saying that I love you," I screamed out.  Oh, shit!  I can't believe I just said that.

Jack got up and backed away. "You, you, you, you, l-l-love m-me?" he said, taking a step backwards with each stammer.  He reached my door, exited, and bolted down the hall.

"Yes, Jack, I love you," I said, melancholy.  Damn!  I had screwed up the only chance I had to be with Jack.  I got the chocolate on chocolate ice cream and chocolate syrup and sat back down on the couch to drown my sorrows away.


	2. Grace's POV

~~*~~

Grace's POV

~~*~~

Will has been the beacon of strength for me since college.  He knows me intimately, but not so, um, intimately.  I knew he was gay before he knew he was gay.  The time I first met him was a really rocky time, full of broken hearts and suicidal gestures.  He scared the hell out of me the day he tried to kill himself.  I remember it, like a fresh cut that still throbs heat.

^^*^^

"Gracie, I just can't take it anymore.  I know how I feel, but I just can't take it.  It's too hard for me to..."

"Will, it's OK to not know anything.  I'm here to help you, if only you'll lean on me," I told him as I held him in my arms.

"I just can't unload all of my crap on you," he said.

"Why not?  I've unloaded a huge bunch of my crap on you," I pointed out.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Will, sweetie, when you hurt, I hurt.  I love you," I said.

He sighed heavily.  "I'm gay, and I'm in love with Jack," he said.

"I know," I said.  He sat up and turned to face me.

"How?"

"I've known since the day I met you.  Of course, my dog knew you were gay, but when you first introduced Jack to me, I saw this light of, well, something in your eyes.  Love, maybe?  Admiration?  Both of those and more."

He cried into my shoulder all night, and some of the next day before he decided to go home.  When he left, he was, I don't know, eerily peaceful.  It triggered alarm bells, but I just ignored them.  I fell asleep, but 30 minutes later, I was up, in a panic.

"Will!" I gasped out in my sleep.  He was in trouble.

I went to his dorm, and sure enough, I found him in bed, with prescription pill bottles and pill scattered about.  He was barely breathing, and his pulse was weak.  I ran to the RA for him to call 911, and then I ran back to be with Will.  He stirred once.

"Grace," he said in an impossibly small voice.

"Will, baby, I'm here.  Don't give up on me!" I prayed out loud.

"Sorry..." he said as he went unconscious again.  

"Dammit, Will, don't you dare give up!" I screamed at him.

All of the anger, fear, and helplessness added up into a volatile formula.  I snapped, and I slapped him.  I began hitting and slapping him until hands grabbed my arms and dragged me away from his bed.  It was Jack.  I collapsed against him and began to sob against his chest.  "It's.... my.... fault..." I sobbed.

"No, honey, Grace.  It's not," Jack assured me.

I didn't believe him until Will assured me himself.  Since then, I've been careful about Will's emotional state.  Sure, I joke around with him, and I insult him, but within the established boundaries of our relationship.

^^*^^

I knew he was still in love with Jack, and I had a good suspicion that Jack felt the same way.  That's why I encouraged Will to fess up to Jack.  I thought it would go well, but when I heard Jack run down the hallway, I remembered why I shouldn't think.  I didn't know whom to go to first, so I flipped a coin, and went to Jack.  I knew he would be at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey Jack.  What happened?" I asked his huddling form.

"Will l-l, he loves me?  Or is he trying to hurt me?" Jack asked.

"No, honey.  He loves you.  He's not trying to make fun of you or hurt you."

"Bu-but, why?  How could he love me?" Jack asked, trying to make sense of the whole thing.  "When did I become worthy to love?" he whispered quietly.

"You've always been worthy to love," I said.  Jack began to cry quietly when I said that.

"No, I haven't," he insisted.


	3. Jack's POV

~~*~~ 

Jack's POV

~~*~~

"Dammit, can't you hear what I'm saying?  I'm saying that I love you," he screamed at me.  My head began swimming.  _What?_

I had to get away, I had to think.  "You, you, you, you, l-l-love m-me?" was all I managed to stammer out before I bolted to my hiding place.

Was this a cruel joke he was playing?  How did he know I loved him?  I've hidden it so well, behind jokes and hopping into the bed of whoever came my way.  I never settled down because I must have been unconsciously waiting for Will.  But now he was going to be cruel, and I couldn't handle that.

I was in my own world until I heard Grace.  "Hey Jack.  What happened?" she asked, concerned.  If anyone would know whether or not Will loved me, it would be her.

"Will l-l, he loves me?  Or is he trying to hurt me?" I asked, cursing silently at how much my voice was shaking.

"No, honey.  He loves you.  He's not trying to make fun of you or hurt you," she said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Bu-but, why?  How could he love me?" I asked, amazed.  "When did I become worthy to love?"

"You've always been worthy to love," Grace said.

Something just broke, and I began to cry.  "No I haven't," I said, as a torrent of emotions flooded me.  Grace didn't say anything, but she held me as the storm died down.

"How long?"

"How long what?  Has he loved you?" Grace asked

"Yes."

"Since I met him that I know of.  When he introduced you to me, I saw this light in his eyes, and I knew he loved you.  He loves you," she said.

"Oh God!  What did I do to him?  I just ran out, not a second thought to it.  I bet he's devastated," I said.

"He did drop a big bombshell on you.  I'm sure if you talk it out with him, he'll forgive you," Grace said.  

"I guess you're right," I said, standing up.

~*~*~

_What am I doing?_ I asked myself as I stood outside of Will's door.  I knocked.  I don't normally knock.  I just barge in, but I didn't want to barge in this time.

"Go away!" Will screamed from inside his apartment.

"Will, it's Jack.  We need to talk," I said.

"Go away, Jack.  I don't want to talk to you," he said with a pained voice.

"Will, please," I pleaded.

"Dammit, Jack.  Go away.  Can't you take no for an answer?"

"Not when it's this important.  Will, I'll love you, too," I said.  *Silence*, and then the door opened.

"You're not just saying that?" Will asked.

"No, I'm not.  I love you," I said, reaching to wipe off some of the chocolate in the corner of his mouth.  "Chocolate sorrow drowning?"

He smiled and blushed.  "Yeah."

"Yeah," I said quietly.  Nobody was moving, so I decided to take a risk.

Electricity passed through both of our lips as they met.  

I don't know how, but we ended up in Will's bed. 

^^*^^

I woke up but didn't open my eyes.  Someone was holding me, but who?  I felt around.  Flat stomach, muscled abs.  I felt up, and as I passed the lips, I heard a soft moan.

I sat bolt upright.  "Will!?" I asked.

"Yes Jack," he said with a bit of a smirk.

"D-d-did I?  What happened?"

"I think we both realized we're in love with each other," he explained.

"Oh," I said with a smile.  I swooped down and captured his lips in a passionate kiss.


End file.
